Turbulent Times

The last two days I've been fighting off rising panic as I've started to develop new pain about a centimetre below my abscess drainage surgery wound. A tender area that is very sensitive if I touch it. I'm also convinced I can see some slight swelling, but if I think back, I can't be sure it wasn't always there. What scares me is that it feels just like it did back when my first abscess was forming. Am I getting a second abscess? A new fistula, or complications with my current one (which continues to leak a bit)? Is the current fistula's leakage taking a new path way in my abdomen and forming a new abscess? Or, am I making a mountain out of nothing- it could just be tenderness from the rather vigorous packing on behalf of my nurse the last two days- trying to prevent the wound from closing quite yet. I don't know! I can feel the panic rising as I contemplate yet another abscess and what that would mean. Likely my doctors would recommend that my naughty section of ileum needs to be removed. Geez- I start to choke up just thinking about that.

Add on top of that, the fact that I'm suffering from some mild Prednisone withdrawal symptoms. Fatigue, sore muscles and joints, nausea. I feel 'off' the last few days. Just great.

My plan is to wait for my nurse to come today, which should be any minute now, and consult with her on what I should do. Call my GI and try to get an appointment in the next few days? Go back to the hospital ER? Do nothing and monitor my temperature and heart rate (signs from my first abscess)? I don't know!

I called one of my best friends last night in the middle of a full blown panic melt down, and she calmed me down and said there's no use getting worked up over what could be nothing. She advised that I gather as much info as possible and consult with those in the know. So I think talking to my nurse and GI will be the best ideas. I just need to avoid freaking out till then. In the end, it is what it is. Freaking out won't change my condition- I just need to meet each challenge head on, and deal with things as they come. Crohn's sucks, but letting it turn me into a blubbering basket case will mean the terrorists have won. *cough* I mean, the disease will have won. *small attempt at a grin*

[LATER]

Well, my nurse advises me to monitor my pain and temperature and if either gets worse, to call my doc for an appointment. It also occured to me that this might be my 'regular' Crohn's disease flare up pain returning now that the Prednisone is leaving my system. Either way, I think a trip to the GI sooner rather than later to discuss my options is in order.

By the way folks, there's another witty Crohn's blog in town: http://jennisguts.blogspot.com/. Check it out. What is it about us Crohn's girls that drives us to write nutty posts about our bowels for the world to read? Haha. Hopefully though, our blogging is helping someone in some small way.